Gems from the NBA Playoffs. What?

Giannis Antetokounmpo’s Failure Speech. The YouTube video: https://youtu.be/uZwlAzr44ys

Even my husband has been stunned by how much basketball I’ve been watching with him. I made it through all of the March Madness of NCAA basketball, and then went into the NBA playoffs with fervor! I guess sports has provided a default choice when about everything else on a zillion channels and streaming services is unentertaining at best, and largely offensive at worst.

My blog, Perils & Pearls, is about finding jewels in the journey. But I was not expecting to find any gems inside of the NBA playoffs! But lo and behold, when the #1 seeded team, the Milwaukee Bucks, was eliminated by the Miami Heat, a set-up for a character lesson quickly emerged...

When the star of the Bucks, Giannis Antetokounmpo, was asked during the post-game interview about whether he viewed the season as a failure, his spontaneous reply was a demo of integrity, having no prep time to hone his wording or mask his emotions.

If you watch the Youtube video, you can see the emotions as Giannis responses to the reporter’s question about this year being a failure. But, even if you just read the transcript of the interview, I believe you will see what I saw: Integrity. Values revealed. Self-awareness in play even in a moment of great distress.

Let me share some bullets re: what stood out to me in Giannis’ response to the reporter asking him if his season was a failure because his team got beat in the first play-off round:

· Is it failure every year you don’t get a promotion? He tried to relate to the inquiring reporter by asking him about what is failure, as it relates to his job as a reporter.

· You are working towards a goal. He named a few of his high values here: to be able to take care of your family, provide a home for them, or take care of your parents.

· Michael Jordan won six championships. Were the other nine years of his career failures? Again, Giannis was trying to put the reporter’s question in a context he could relate to.

· Success has many steps: He talked about each year you don’t win a championship is a step towards success.

· It’s the wrong question! Yes, that is the point: there are no failures in sports. You won’t always be the trophy-winner, but you can always build on what you learned for the next season, the next opportunity.

· I’m sorry, I don’t want to make this personal. Even in his state of distress after a devastating loss, he was self-aware enough to notice his emotions about this question of failure were making it difficult for him to not take it personal and make it personal.

May I bring this display of integrity into the world of personal growth? The term integration (& disintegration) is used in several settings within the transformational growth process. Several years back, it was my WFTY (Word For the Year), so I did some digging re: the definition(s) of the word. For my purpose of using it as a focus word, I distilled all of the denotations and connotations of integration and landed with this:

Integration is the state of being the same in all places & cases.

You can see how then, we get to the virtue of integrity (my paraphrase):

Living in the state of demonstrating consistent values throughout the domains and seasons of one’s life.

Interestingly, during my training for becoming an Enneagram Practitioner, the words integration and disintegration were applied to the two opposite states possible re: personal growth inside your Enneagram Type structure.

In other words, integration is where you are not a slave to your structure; you don’t stop at your natural tendencies when considering how to approach or think about a situation or decision. You operate freely to explore if a different perspective (of one of the other eight Types) might be the best view for a given situation, while still able to bring the strengths of your Type structure to bear.

This being opposed to the state of disintegration, where you are unaware of what your Type tendencies and blind spots are; and therefore, unknowingly, you default to that perspective in situations and decisions. You are not operating in the freedom to bring in a different perspective that may be better suited for the situation; bound to your Type structure. Inevitably, this singular view will interfere with your ability to bring your Type's superpower into your relationships and situations.

Our gifts and strengths, or assets, can be represented as one side of a coin. On the other side, are our challenges (or the shadow side). Every Type has both sides – the asset side and the challenge side - in operation.

For those who are committed to personal growth, the goal is to spend more time on the asset side where we are enjoying the freedom of offering our gifts in our fields of influence; and less on the challenge side, where we are held back by a lack of awareness of the over-dos of our strengths and our blind spots, denying the world around us of our potential contribution.

One way of getting in touch with the two sides of your wiring is to experience an Enneagram Typing Interview, which provides a foundational framework for a person’s self-discovery process. Growth means change; and as Sheryl Sandberg said:

We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.

If you would like a professional partner in your personal journey, feel free to reach out to me. I am a Certified Enneagram Coach, as well as Christian Life Coach. I would be happy to facilitate an Enneagram Typing Interview for you to support your exploration of this powerful typology tool.

Meanwhile...I invite you to ponder these questions with me:

Where in my life am I not consistently demonstrating my values? Why not?

How would my behavior look on a video of my response in a moment of significant distress or disappointment?

Could I navigate through my real-time processing and display integration with all eyes on me?

Or would you see me disintegrating in the difficult moment? If so, where do I need to bring my awareness within the structure of my Type? How do I get back from the challenge side to the asset side of my wiring?

(Lord, I lift up my weaknesses and blind spots to You. Only with You and through Your Spirit can I experience real transformational change. Anything else is just short-term self-improvement.)

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS: When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST." CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the https://www.perilsandpearls.com Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!

Blessed to play a part ~

g

Recovery While Climbing

How to Rest Without Stopping Your Race

For fifty-two years now, in the historic Western town of Durango, Colorado, thousands of cyclists celebrate the first run of the train in the spring by accepting the challenge that was originally between two brothers, one a cyclist & the other a brakeman on the Durango-Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. The contest was answering the question of who could arrive in Silverton first – the train or the cyclist. And so it began…In the 1970’s The Iron Horse Classic became a yearly event each May that continues to grow in popularity across the States and beyond.

It being mid-April now, the roads are littered with cyclists who are in the final weeks of training for this epic challenge that includes two mountain pass climbs, each over 10,000 feet, in the total fifty miles of pedaling.

It is in these grueling mountain climbs that anyone who desires to be successful at finishing this race, must master this key survival technique: recovery while climbing.

The year I turned fifty – and the first year we lived in Durango (our house at 7400 feet) – I set my sights on completing the Iron Horse Classic. Exciting…and daunting! What I didn’t figure on when I signed up was how much of the training would be indoors in spin classes. Ugh…But it was in one of those spin classes that the instructor introduced me to the concept of recovery while climbing.

Who would have thought, it is not only possible but necessary to learn how to take breaks – without actually stopping - while still ascending, still moving upward towards a daunting goal?

This insight served me well in my quest to make it to Silverton; and it continues to infuse me with energy for the long-term goal of living out of my God-given strengths and finishing my particular course of this life race well.

What I found to be true is the ‘how’ to recovery while climbing is about perspective and pace.

If I were to mentally look at the fifty-mile bike route from Durango to Silverton and all I saw were the two mountain pass climbs – each of them at six miles long – I would have been beaten before I left the starting line. And if I would have set a pace that was too fast at the beginning, where there are miles through a flat valley before hitting any climbing, I would have found out too late that I’d burnt all my matches by the time I got to the extensive stretches of needing a sustainable pedal pace for long periods of ascending.

But during my training for the Iron Horse, our spin-class leader taught us how to set a steady pace to save energy for the long-haul, how to down-shift our rpm’s, or pedal cadence, as we approach a climb; and then how to get short reprieves by sitting up higher to get more air in, take longer breaths, and maybe even change up our pedal stroke briefly...All resulting in a sensation of taking a break without stopping our up-mountain progress.

...let us run with patient endurance and steady active persistence the race that is set before us, [looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith... Heb.12:1-2

I did make it to Silverton! What a feeling of accomplishment, and a foreshadowing of the many outdoor adventures to come in our new life in the San Juan Mountains of SW Colorado. But the greatest takeaway from the experience – both in the training and the actual ride – was this phenomenon of recovery while climbing.

I have found focusing on perspective and pace to be key concepts for running my life race – the course He has designed and set before me – sustainably, as it unfolds with different terrain each day. Left to my own unchecked wiring, I have been known to set too fast a pace and burn all my matches before the finish of the day, then paying the cost of that lack of wisdom in my body. And what usually precedes such foolishness is starting my day’s course without submitting myself to God’s perspective on my to-do list! If I just stop and ask Him, He is always faithful to help me weed through my objectives and release the day’s schedule to His wisdom; and somehow everything that needed to get done is accomplished without me sacrificing my peace or physical well-being.

You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am. Ps.139:3

May I bring the message down to a practical application? My daughter, Heidi, is in that very busy stage of raising their two school-age children (thirteen and ten), running the household, supporting her husband, extensive volunteering and in all, taking on about two dozen roles to keep all the plates spinning and the family unit cohesive. Many of you reading this have previously been in this season I speak of or are currently paddling in these same waters.

Recently in a conversation with Heidi, she mentioned how this concept of recovery while climbing (that I’d shared with her back when I was in training for the big race) is a very conscious mantra for her on a daily/weekly basis. So I asked her what that looks like in her current daily fury of activity.

How does she maneuver amidst her time-boxed day to actually feel like she’s had a breather that gives her enough of a second wind to keep on going?

Here are some of the notes I took as she hurriedly ran me through her thought process (while doing three other things, of course) as she shared her personal application of recovery while climbing:

1) She taps into a different mindset, different expectations during periods of schedule chaos – an example: when the exhaustion or not being able to turn the brain off actually keeps her from sound sleep, she tells herself “It’s ok, I won’t die from a lack of sleep.” Then, at least, she doesn’t take on anxiety about the lack of sleep, which would further disrupt her sleep!

2) Another powerful reminder she turns to when tempted to get overwhelmed by all the nonstop roles:

Because this season of life can be hard and exhausting, doesn’t mean I’ve made bad decisions or am doing anything wrong.

3) She looks for precious pockets – for example: use drive time, waiting time (in pick-up lines) ...for self-care. That could be listening to a podcast or book while driving, doing paperwork, calling a friend, or just closing your eyes for a few minutes while parked for pick-ups...

4) She revisits ‘familiar wells’- an example: she intentionally draws upon past times when God has come through for her, been faithful in providing what she needs to play all these roles. She may also reread a book that had proven to be a source of encouragement in another time.

5) She cuts out anything not vital during crazy schedule days – like cooking. She picks up dinner along the way with no guilt - ha!

Maybe some of that is helpful for you...Maybe you have your own proven recipe for how to get a breather while still pedaling upward and onward...Or maybe you are not currently in a frenetic season of life. In that case, may your heart overflow with gratitude! In any case, I hope you have found encouragement and had your creativity stirred regarding the necessary survival skill of recovery while climbing.

This race we are in is a marathon, not a sprint; and there is only One who knows what each day will hold. God knows what you and I will need for tomorrow’s terrain. I want to find rest for my soul in that comforting truth; and continue growing in my dependence on Him to supply whatever I need to live a fulfilling life, joining Him in His purposes each day.

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matt.6:8

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:19

I'd love to hear from you readers about this topic of carving out regroup times in the middle of busy or challenging days and seasons. How do you recover while climbing?

What techniques have you found helpful for catching your breath when all you can see ahead is more climbing?

What is one of your 'familiar wells' where you have gone in the past to get refreshed in the midst of hectic times?

What mindset sets you up for success - or failure - in times of challenge or busyness?

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS: When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST." CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the https://www.perilsandpearls.com Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!

Blessed to play a part ~

g

Passion: My Education of the Word

I was around thirty years old when it hit me...With a smirk on my face, I said to myself: “The title to my life story is surely going to be: The Perils of a Passionate Woman!” By then I had already experienced in more than one of the domains of my life, the myriad ways my singular way of embracing life could be received or rejected, or just misunderstood.

This quote by Henry David Thoreau, gave me words for what every sensory cell of my body, heart and soul knew:

I wanted to live deep and suck out the marrow of life

As an unenlightened Enneagram T3/One-on-one subtype, it didn’t even feel like a choice. I had no idea of any other way to live life but passionately. But little did I know then that my education on the many denotations, let alone the myriad connotations, of this word passion was only just beginning...

Since this is a blog post, not a book, I will just tease you with this. Here are the somewhat chronological chapter titles I have created for my life story:

· Passion as Protection

· Passion as Rebellion

· Passion as Intensity

· Passion as Blinders

· Passion as Excuses

· Passion as Suffering

· Passion as a Revenant

· Passion as a River

Suffice it to say, these titles represent the evolution - and revelation - of passion over the span of my journey. If you look up the word passion, the top two definitions could be the bookends of my passion education:

1. an intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction; or devotion to some activity, object, concept, or person

2. the suffering and death of Jesus

But first, I needed to gain some awareness...Awareness of the shadow side of my hard wiring for living out loud. What part of being a passionate woman might be also a part of my false self? What part of my intensity was counter-productive in becoming who God created me to be – bringing Him glory and partnering with Him in His work? Hmm...Gaining that awareness could be its own book!

But allow me to jump forward, onto the other side of the birth and infancy of my self-awareness. What I discovered was a whole new world previously unknown to me:

How others experience me – and the chasm that can lie between my conscious motive and the message received at the other end!

I had learned in a study of Jesus' Temptation in the Wilderness that what He faced are the primal temptations we all face; and they are all about misuse of power. All of us, regardless of our particular wiring or Enneagram Type, have personal power – our own superpower, if you will.

But, when we overuse or misuse that power, we give up the ability to bring our special goodness to the world. Instead, living out of this backside of our strength, results in levels of damage to ourselves and those in our relational circles.

The blinders were coming off...I began to see my misuse of power as a Type 3/One-on-one. Let me share just one example: Type 3’s have a natural ability to read a room, to quickly assess where the ‘juice’ is. We are drawn to be with other passionate people. What could be the problem with that?

Well, it all comes down to motive. For T3’s, we are always driving for approval, recognition – admiration even. So it can be a slippery slope when we gravitate to the movers-and-shakers circle at the party. We have a tendency to work so hard at getting that approval that we can end up ‘morphing’; that is, transforming our public persona in the moment to be whatever will get us acceptance into the au courant crowd.

What’s so bad about that? Well, I can tell you for sure that behavior pattern doesn’t move you towards living an authentic life, let alone getting your genuine need for love and affirmation met. It’s all counterfeit.

Hmm...Doesn’t that sound like something that would need taken down (or dismantled) to build something truer? Something God would shine His light on as a roadblock for living out of who He created me to be? Wouldn’t I better bring Him glory by using my intuition in social settings to key into those who feel overlooked and give them my laser-like eye contact and full attention, asking questions that show my interest in their story?

Ahhh...finally some light coming through the darkness! I actually began to understand the beauty and gift of repentance that I’d read about in biographies of the great faithful ones over the centuries of Christendom. But He had more for me regarding this educational journey about passion...

...The setting of the revelation was quite conspicuous. It was Lenten season during an excruciating stage of a more-than-a-decade-long physical condition that produced a pain cycle that almost did me in. And as anyone who has dealt with chronic pain knows, the ripple effect of the physical setting off alarms in the neural, and the brain then sending shutdown messages back through the nervous system to the body...well, it’s a total takeover of your life. Something had to give. I was in a forced tap-out.

Meanwhile, as He does, God was at work in the unseen...A dear friend shared a Lent devotional with me she thought I might appreciate. It is by Spiritual Director, Author and Transformation Center Founder, Ruth Haley Barton.

Every page captivated me, even while I was being undone by the conviction of the relentless truth in her words. Here’s just a sampling from Week Five (the week before Holy Week) about suffering:

“[Lent represents] …the season of the spiritual life in which God is dismantling the false self in order for the true self to emerge more fully...this season feels like death, and in fact it is—the death of that which is false in order for something truer to come to life.... even Jesus had to die in order for the will of God to come forth in his life...one of the great paradoxes of our faith—that in order to really live, we must die. That before we can reign with Christ we must first share in his sufferings. That when God begins to do a new thing, old things must pass away. That in order to experience resurrection we, too, must die.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that the only thing we stand to lose is the false self, which is not real anyway. The only thing passing away is that crusty old thing that is no longer useful.”

That is but a drop in the proverbial bucket overflowing with the divine messages I received over the six-week course of these daily devotions! Let’s just say, dismantling became a very personal descriptor of what I was experiencing; and yet, I felt a deep abiding peace that God’s plan is always good, and His goal is always wholeness. He will sustain me.

I was reminded of something I had read that had the potent pointedness of truth to penetrate my anguish and ultimately gave me hope for some purpose to my pain: Many times, pain is the invitation in... I had accepted the invitation...

During this personal desert time, I found myself wrestling with this theme of faith paradoxes repeatedly: die in order to live, false self must die to reveal true self, old must pass away to experience new, surrender or sacrifice precedes revelation. Biblically basic, but not so simple when you are living in the liminal space between the old and new.

But He was directing me through the devotional, and it was in those pages I had the aha:

Hmm...the suffering of Christ is referred to as Christ’s Passion or the Passion of Christ. Could it be that my suffering might be translated into the passion of Geri or Geri’s passion? There it was – the revelation of a word I had gotten so cozy with: Passion - but now seen through an entirely different lens.

But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 1Peter 4:13

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him... Hebrews 5:7-9

I knew the full story of following Christ – that in this world I will have trials and tribulations (John 16:33); but now it was choosing to stay with Him through the suffering. (Matthew 26:40) Choosing to find Him in the midst of the pain and uncertainty.

Then the moment of clarity:

Just as Jesus accepted the suffering of the cross to obey and glorify the Father – who was making a way for us to have restored relationship with Himself - trusting God for the ultimate outcome of defeating death and being resurrected...My part here is to bring Him glory even in my suffering, knowing He will sustain me, even as He refines me – separating the chaff from the wheat, the old from the new, my false self from my true self – trusting Him for ‘Resurrection Life’ on this earth!

If you reference back to my chapter titles, you will notice that the one about Passion as Suffering is not the last one. Thank God! He has brought me through so much since those days of chronic pain being my constant companion. And I have experienced such joy from the fruit of accepting the invitation to ‘go in’ with Him, to give the Potter permission and access to remold the clay in ways seen and unseen, increasing its beauty - with cracks and all - and usefulness in His hands.

And just as Ruth Haley Barton said, the only thing that has really ‘died’ is that crusty old self that is no longer useful! In fact, I’m living deeper than ever and still sucking the marrow out of life! And now when I am anticipating being in a social setting, I grow excited about the opportunities I may have to use my superpower to help shine a light on someone in the background, or enjoy having a deeper conversation one-on-one with an introvert.

The last chapter title you see up there is Passion as a River. This is Resurrection Life for me – to be available to Him, ready to join Him in His work, flowing in the unforced rhythm of His grace [river].

Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them. John 7:37-38

Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Matt 11:29

As we commemorate Christ’s death and resurrection in the coming days, might you consider reflecting on a few questions Ruth posed?

What needs to die in me in order for God’s will/purpose to come forth in my life?

What new thing is God doing in my life that requires some old thing to pass away?

Where do I sense God wanting to teach me obedience through the things I am suffering [– be it physical, mental, or emotional pain, relational heartache...]?

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS: When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST." CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the https://www.perilsandpearls.com Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!

Blessed to play a part ~

g