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Welcome to my blog: Perils and Pearls

My heart's desire in this endeavor is to offer support and encouragement to the hearts' of women. That you would feel accompanied - not alone - as we travel together and find the jewels in our sometimes perilous journeys. 


Ahh...This photo, taken several years ago, looks to be an image of summertime bliss, of serenity, pleasure, relaxation. And it is all of that. My son, Nick, was the photographer and videographer directing the shoot that day in a favorite dry-fly stream here in SW Colorado.


You can't really tell from the photo, but he was stationed far above the water, up a steep hill from where I was fishing, utilizing his abundant variety of cameras and lenses to capture an idyllic day of fishing a high-country stream. I was there to be an example of ‘women who fly-fish’ as part of one of Nick’s client projects for a well-known fly-fishing equipment company.

But once you place this single frame into the set of images that were about to unfold, it tells a very different story. For in the minutes following the capture of this photo, the photographer became the rescuer! And my mind’s video capture of the incident was instantly made indelible in my heart and soul.

I was taking Nick’s direction re: when to cast for the camera’s sake; and when to demonstrate the whole process: site fish, set the hook, bring it to the net, and dish it up gently in my hands for the photographer to capture the reward, before carefully releasing the fish back into its happy place.

I was just getting past the stage fright, and starting to realize how frequently my casts were producing catches, when I spotted two men in fishing garb downstream from me noticing my cast-to-catch ratio. What I didn’t realize was Nick was more aware of what may be happening next than I was.

Before I could read and react, the two fishermen had hustled along the bank and were getting in the stream right beside me – discourteously close, in fact, uncomfortably close. At the same moment I was registering all of this, and feeling overwhelmingly unprepared for such a situation, I heard Nick’s stern voice, getting louder as he was quickly descending the steep hill from which he had been filming.


Although I know my son to be an introvert, there was nothing shy about his dressing down of these fishermen. In no uncertain terms, he called out their breach of fishing etiquette, and uncovered their explicit intention to take advantage of what they thought was a female alone in a fish-rich stretch of water. They were speechless. So was I.


I had to fight back tears as I tried to catch up with what just happened.

What kept circling in my mind was I’ve been rescued! And as time went by that day, into the next; and even into the weeks, months, and years following this incident, my singular thought developed into a beautiful point of healing for me.

You see, growing up I took on a story that had just enough truth to it to fool me into agreeing with it, that I was not worth protecting. So, when I experienced not being protected, it added more weight to that mistaken thinking. I entered adolescence and

went into adulthood not expecting to be rescued or protected.

Even as my relationship with God grew and deepened, I wasn’t able to fully see Him as my Rescuer or Protector. I had no mental image of what that looked like.
Until I watched my son flying down that steep hill to rescue me from the encroaching fishermen, proclaiming my right to this stretch of water, and implicitly, affirming my right to be rescued, my worthiness of being protected.

From that day to today, I readily pull up that sacred image when I need bolstered in my belief in God as my Rescuer and Protector.

A dear friend and spiritual companion calls it remembering forward when you draw up vignettes of God’s previous faithfulness to help you believe He will do it again in the present or future.

I guess God knew I needed a human connection, a flesh-and-blood example to break through my mistaken thinking from childhood. Maybe we all need those imperfect but touchable examples of God’s attributes demonstrated through mere human jars of clay.


I’ve recounted this significant scene in my story to encourage you to cull the video reel of your own for significant scenes. I believe God is always after healing - moving us towards wholeness, redemption, reconciliation. He wants to correct our mistaken thinking about who we are, who He is and who He desires to be in our lives. And many times He uses people to do this work.

From Psalm 91:14-16 – Personalized for you:

Because ____ loves You, Lord, You will rescue her/him.

You will protect ____ for she/he acknowledges Your name.

____ will call on You, and You will answer her/him; You will be with ____ in trouble, You will deliver ____ and honor her/him. With long life You will satisfy her/him and show ____ Your salvation.


To ponder...


Can you identify a wound that became a story you agreed with to the detriment of discovering who you were really created to be?


What might be distorting your view of God, making it difficult for you to see Him in the way you need to right now?


Can you pull up a scene from your story where a person embodied an attribute of God? Might its recollection be helpful in creating a mental image of God in that role in your life?


If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')


**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS:

When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST."

CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.


And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!


Blessed to play a part ~

g


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I can move back into this Geri-quake scene from several years ago in a moment’s recall: I was participating in my life coach cohort group’s monthly call (that has been happening since 2006!) ...The ‘mic’ was mine as I was sharing something deeply personal and very upsetting with two of only a few people I can say I feel safe to do such soul-baring.


This was during my early post-dismantling season when gut-wrenching aha’s were coming like labor pains...I was sharing one of these lightning bolts of enlightenment when my spiritual companions heard me exclaim rhetorically:

All of a sudden, it hit me; Am I just now seeing in myself what others have been seeing in me all along?!

The silence across our phone lines (Yes, this was when some of us still had landlines) was deafening. These two women have been using their voices to encourage and coach me through many seasons of life – the highs and lows – so the absence of the sound of their voices in this particular moment spoke volumes.

As the song lyrics so aptly put it: "Was blind but now I see..."

To make a very long story short (My dismantling could/will fill many blog posts), I was at the beginning of the blinders coming off –

I was starting to see the great chasm between how I thought I was presenting myself and how others were experiencing me. Oh my...!

It was in the next couple of years I dove deep into self-observation, which also led to realizing the power of the Enneagram framework in God’s transformational process, and decided to get trained as an Enneagram Practitioner to add to my life coaching practice.


As it turns out, within the typology model of the Enneagram, the concept of blind spots is irrespective of wiring; in other words, all nine types can have a gap between who they think they are presenting and who others experience them to be. As I learned about what this gap can look like with each type, I was also beginning to grasp the Grand Canyon size of my own illusion. Such a realization can never be fun; but humiliating and shocking when the aha is just coming in your 50’s. (Better late than the never?)


Nevertheless, I can testify to the truth of such a quote:

Sometimes the pain is the invitation in – Author unknown

And, to the hope in such a promise:

...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. – Philippians 1:6

In case you would like to put your toe into the exploration of how others experience us according to our E type, here are a couple of links to pertinent blog posts, full of great questions and some action steps, from a partnership of Enneagram experts who have successfully brought the power of the Enneagram into the business world for over twenty-five years now. Their company is Transform, Inc. How apropos.



Here is a concise graphic from Transform, Inc's post (excerpted from The Essential Enneagram) re: communication per type for you to consider where your blind spots might be:



Let me just give you a glimpse of what can be revealed by such a study by sharing what I have realized about my blind spots as a Type 3 (+ Subtype One-on-One). Let’s just start with the image I used at the top of this post - the cliché salesman:

Although I can think I am just oozing excitement over an idea or product I believe in and am sharing it with someone; in reality, I can be coming across as a caricature of a salesman (salesperson) ...Eww!

Taken from David Daniel’s and Virginia Price’s book, The Essential Enneagram, Type 3’s are "direct, topic-focused, fast-paced and confident." And as far as our selling ability, my daughter said to me in her teen years: “Mom, you could sell catsup popsicles to a lady in white gloves!”


And yet, others can experience us as "impatient, unfeeling, overly efficient and restrictive, and overriding of others’ views." Moreover, I can add in from my own experience, we Three’s can give the impression of ‘having it all together’ which can lead to a false perception of having no vulnerabilities, sensitivities, wounds or needs. You can see how this could impede authentic, mutually satisfying relationships - at a minimum.


I hope I have stirred your curiosity regarding how there can be a gap between the image you think you put forth versus how others are experiencing you, no matter the Type with which you resonate. Take a look at the blog post The Enneagram and Communication to discover more about how each of the nine types can be misperceived.


Although it is a journey that will never end, I am determined to stay receptive to uncovering more blinders that need to come off so I can experience more freedom to embody my authentic self, and from that posture, be capable of loving others better.


Might you consider...


How aware are you of your blind spots? Can you name one?
Surveying your past and present, what effects can you see from the gap between how you believe you present yourself versus the feedback from others' experience of you?
What stands in your way of removing the blinders?

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS:

When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST."


CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.


And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!

Blessed to play a part ~

g

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A few posts ago, I shared an WSJ article about Personal Theme Songs (PTS). I have many; they change according to the season or situation in which I am living. When I created my blogsite - Perils & Pearls - I knew music and its vital role in my journey had to occupy significant space.


This song, Sing My Way Through, by Hope Darst, was an easy choice for the title of my Music Page because in four words it sums up the power of a meaningful musical piece to keep me focused on 'the prize,' enlarge my view of God, and return my fretful thoughts to contemplations of gratitude and trust.


Have you ever felt agitated by a repeating refrain during the worship portion of a church service? How many times are we going to sing this chorus?! I have found myself there on occasion. And I have talked to people who do not appreciate how many contemporary worship songs, as well as classic old hymns, have a refrain that is sung over and over again. Instead of feeling led into a state of worship, they struggle with the annoyance of the repetition. I get that.


But what I have realized about myself is how cluttered my mind is when I am just attempting to make space to focus on God. I have come to the conclusion that I need the repetition to assist me in clearing my head so I can engage in the worship. There is a recent song, sung by Phil Wickham and Chandler Moore (from Maverick City Music), called Worthy of My Song, that begins with these lyrics:

I'm gonna sing 'til my heart starts changing; Oh, I'm gonna worship 'til I mean every word.

Yeah, that says it for me! I've gotta sing it however many times until I am fully engaged - until my mind is empty of outside distractions and I am able to focus on my purpose for being there: to give God my undivided attention and adoration. Hmm...Maybe the songwriters know this; maybe the worship leaders understand this? Ha...


This title song, Sing My Way Through, is a great example of how each repetition of a simple theme can pull me further away from my mind muddle and into a meditation on how and why I can trust Him to bring me through whatever I am facing. Singing it is an declaration of my faith, even when my senses and emotions are not aligned with this trusting perspective.

You've worked it all out, Jesus I'm putting my trust in You You won't go back on Your word
I will sing my way through, all the way to Everything You've said I will sing my way through, all the way to All Your promises I will sing my way through, all the way to Everything You've said I will sing my way through... I will sing my way through, all the way to Everything You've said... I will sing my way through
Oh, I will sing, yes, I will sing All Your promise, on my lips, Jesus Forever, I will sing.

I'm wondering if you have had a similar struggle...


What is your experience during the worship portion of a church service?


How do your clear your head to make space to think about God and His presence in your life?


Is entering into worship easier for you when you are at home or in your car with inspirational music playing?


If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')


**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS:


When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST."


CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!


Blessed to play a part ~

g





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