When Losing All Power is Powerful

We have been campers for decades. We progressed (or some diehard outdoorsies might say regressed), from being fine in a small thin (read: lightweight to carry, but expect no real sleep on the hard ground) backpacking tent to a larger tent with a floor and sleeping pads...to 12 years ago, graduating to a roof-mounted clamshell-style tent with a 2-inch-thick queen mattress that required a ladder to reach (read: not fun when having to get to an outhouse in the middle of the night).

As you might have already deduced, the changes in sleeping arrangements were driven mainly by our maturing bodies. We have no shame about that. Better to upgrade our woodsy lodging than to give up our love of being emersed in the outdoor splendor of the West.

Then finally, just before the pandemic lockdown, we bought a cozy 17-foot camper we could trailer with our 4-Runner. Ahhh... the Taj: a queen bed, full kitchen, a slide-out that makes way for a spacious banquette dining table (that converts to a full-size bed), and a bathroom with dry shower (If you don’t know the significance of the ’dry’ versus ‘wet’ shower, think of having to wipe down the entire room and facilities every time you use the shower.) We were giddy about the luxury of it all! (BTW, her name is Bug.)

My husband, Ron, was ready to conquer the unfamiliar land of camper functioning and maintenance. He is a brilliant techie and businessman, but did not grow up learning about the mechanics of machines and vehicles. Undaunted, he framed this jump into the RV world as a new and needed hobby.

Into our third season with Bug (I got to name her), as you might expect, we have a load of learnings through challenging experiences.

But the real stumper has been how many ways the power can fail us when we are boondocking. (Defined as: camping with no outside access to water, sewer, or electrical hookups.)

Ron has read volumes online and watched countless YouTube videos on every system and every power source involved in keeping us lit up, cool or warm, dry, and nourished. (I had no idea it took propane tanks, massive batteries, and solar panels to keep Bug – and me – copacetic and comfy.)

And yet with each boondocking outing we seem to land in a new position of powerlessness.

Just last weekend... we were giddy about getting to wander our backyard of the San Juan mountains, with a quintessential fall weather report to rely on and our flyfishing and mountain bike gear packed. We found one of our favorite spots open, in spite of it being hunting season, and got set up. Ron put the solar panel in position to soak up the intense sun at our high altitude of 9000+ feet. Our battery was fully charged for running the lights, water pump and all-important stereo. The propane tank would keep our food cold and be ready to heat some water for showers. All good, right?

Yet, by campfire time, when Ron did his check on the power systems, the battery had drained too much too fast – uh-oh...Well, let me just fast-forward to the decision to pack up everything and drive home at 11pm! We wanted to avoid running the battery to the point that it fails because it would permanently ruin it. (One of the lessons we learned by the end of season two with Bug.) Also, there is a safety in the system when the carbon monoxide detector isn’t getting power a very, very loud alarm goes off that will only stop by removing a particular fuse. (Yep, another season two tutorial.)

Wow, thwarted again by a lesson in how we can end up losing all power?!

Beyond the sheer entertainment value for you to read about our amateur RV plunders, there are a couple of significant life lessons that we were able to distill after our shortened excursion last weekend.

1. We need more than opportunities for enjoyable experiences to have times of r & r. We need the power to enjoy what is made available for our pleasure.

God, thank You for the blessings and opportunities you give us to get refreshed and restored. We depend on You to also give us the power to enjoy these ways You demonstrate Your love and knowing of us. (Ecclesiastes 5:19-20, 3:12-13)

2. Sometimes we need saved from ourselves. We realized after the fact, we had no business trying to camp last weekend. Both of us (two Enneagram Type 3’s) were stretched to the max during the week. Both of us confessed to the urge to voice this doubt about camping being the best option for needed rest, but didn’t want to disappoint the other.

Losing all power took the decision out of our hands. Once we got back home and had some sleep, we still had most of the weekend for more of a staycation with no packing or power issues to deal with.

Thank You, our loving Father, for knowing us and our true needs better than we do. For taking a potentially disastrous weekend and turning it into a deliverance from ourselves. (Matt 7:9-11, Luke 12:24, Matt 6:8)

We are still wringing out meaning from last weekend. In fact, even today, as I journal about what God may be aiming at for me, to further my journey towards wholeness and healing from wounds, the word protection keeps coming up. As I shared in a previous post, the lack of protection is the core of my childhood wound.

Could God be inviting me to rethink His position in my story? Could He be revealing His posture of presence and protection where I have seen myself unprotected and alone? Hmm...

Just like the camping last week, where we can choose to leave the headline at “Lost All Power” or look deeper to consider a rescue from ourselves, I can choose the narrative of a lifelong pattern of being unprotected and on my own, or accept God’s invitation to rethink His position throughout my life, and allow that to fulfill my (and every person's) basic needs of being seen, soothed, safe and secure.

Might you consider?...

Upon reflection, can you identify a time when you had all the right ingredients for some needed r & r, yet came away not feeling rested and not understanding what was missing in your recipe?

Can you think of a circumstance where you can be your own worst enemy, where you need saved from yourself, your wired-in tendencies?

Where might God be inviting you to reconsider His position in a painful part of your story?

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS:

When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST." CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha!

And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!

Blessed to play a part ~

g

ChatGPT & I agree: An Attitude of Gratitude

I would venture to say we all know someone whose life perspective tends towards the ‘cup is half-empty’ viewpoint. Maybe that even describes your expectations of life. Well, my husband Ron, who would not argue with that description of his perspective in general, took the truism to a new level during a European trip back in the late 80’s. (i.e. no cell phones, no search engines, no GPS.)

We were there visiting a sister of mine and her husband who was in the Air Force. We spent several days traveling together by car through parts of Germany, Austria, and France.

It was the day we were driving into the Bavarian Alps to tour Neuschwanstein castle, (You may know it as the inspiration for the iconic Walt Disney Sleeping Beauty castle); and we hit a snowstorm.

It soon became a complete white-out, with the requisite slick road surface, and traffic halted on the two-lane highway. As we sat in the virtual parking lot, trying to assess how many miles of cars were ahead of us, and if the standstill included any accidents, Ron was full-on into his crisis sarcasm. It was about the forty-five-minute mark of no movement or update that he declares he is going to get to the bottom of this snowy fiasco.

Ron ignored the three of us as we attempted to counter his irrational scheme, pointing out a few obvious flaws of his action plan – like the fact that there would be several languages other than English to block his goal of asking questions and receiving answers.

But he threw off our counsel and headed out into the blizzard. It was maybe a half-hour later when he returned, looking like the abominable snowman, murmuring under his breath about how “screwed up their highway systems and snowfall preparations are over here.” His sardonic rant went on...and on...

Meanwhile, the three of us burst out in laughter, and my sister Maria’s next statement became an instant family classic (IFC):

“Ron, I knew you were a ‘cup-half-empty kind of guy’ but I didn’t realize until now, you can’t even find the cup!”

We did make it to the Neuschwanstein castle, and went on to have an epic trip overflowing with IFC’s! And I must say on Ron’s behalf, even though he was rarely not entertaining with his sarcastic commentary during that life season, he has not only found the cup, but has made great strides in being intentional to not always agree with his brain’s tendency to go to the negative in any given situation.

I’ve done some reading on this topic of what the neuroscience community calls “the negativity bias” that is a part of the human brain’s original design, meant to keep us safe – alive even – when there are threats all around with which to contend. I mean like huge beasts wanting to make us their next meal, or a carnivore fighting us over who will take home the family’s food supply for the upcoming winter!

So fast-forward to this century, when we are so advanced we only fight over grocery carts and self-checkout stations, our brains are still setup to be vigilant about possible threats to our survival. One offshoot of this design is our brains look for and retain the negative far faster and longer than the positive.

From Kendra Cherry, in her article “What is the Negativity Bias,”

While we may no longer need to be on constant high alert as our early ancestors needed to be in order to survive, the negativity bias still has a starring role in how our brains operate. Research has shown that negative bias can have a wide variety of effects on how people think, respond, and feel. Some of the everyday areas where you might feel the results of this bias include in your relationships, decision-making, and the way you perceive people.

Furthermore, according to Dr. Rick Hanson, neuroscientist and author of “Hardwiring Happiness,” our brains process positive stimuli very differently from negative stimuli. Hanson explains:

The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.

That means we will need to do intentional work to (re)train our brains if we desire to have a ‘cup-half-full’ view of life, let alone experiencing a cup-full or fulfilling life.

In regard to training our brains, there is a so-called magic ratio.

Experts say that when we can greet one negative thought, experience, or sentiment with five positive ones, we can offset our negativity bias. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, it will take five (or more) positive interactions to override the negative.

Hmm...Pondering all of this brain training brings me to thinking about just how smart God is.

Our Creator God knew we would need to be intentional about dwelling on the good, the positive, and remembering His faithfulness up to this point, that we might believe in His goodness in our now and unknown future.

Remembering His faithfulness in the past, leads to gratitude in the present, which can become hope, faith, and peace about the future.

Did you know that the word remember is used 352 times in the Bible? And if you include its variants, the number jumps to over 550!

I believe in, as my friend coined it, the power of remembering forward. That is, to recount God’s faithfulness in our lives and apply that evidence to our need for belief and hope in our present and future situations. And wouldn’t gratitude be a byproduct of such reflection? So, as I understand it...

Couldn’t an attitude of gratitude effectually be an exercise in (re)training our brain, away from its propensity towards the negative vigilance and projection?

As I mentioned earlier, there are hundreds of scriptural references where God is encouraging us to remember - His faithfulness, His protection and rescue, His provision... In the Old Testament, He consistently spoke this message to the people of Israel as He yearned to have them trust in His love for them.

As an example, if you read Psalm 103, David begins with “forget not all of His benefits” and then starts listing the evidence of God’s faithfulness to him and His people. David is trying to stir up an attitude of gratitude in the Israelites. And with the impressive list of God rescues and blessings David lays down in this sacred verse, how could they not gratefully trust Him for their present and future? Which leads me to...

How could I not gratefully trust God for my present and future after reflecting on His faithfulness to me in the entirety of my life journey?

And yet, I can wring my hands with worry over what I see or don’t see, feel or don’t feel, totally negating the point of faith, which is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. (Hebrews 11:1)

Take for example, when I fall into foreboding when I haven’t heard back from someone important to me after sending a text or email, or leaving a voice message. Uh-oh, did I offend them in some way? Did my intended message not translate accurately over text?

I must be too much for them...

And so it goes... The negativity bias starts running my mental hamster ragged! What a waste of energy, right?! And I’m wired to be a cup-half-full kind of girl!

Proof positive for me, my husband is not alone in his bent for the bleak. No matter our wiring, or Enneagram Type, our brains’ design comes with the challenge of overcoming the force of foreboding (albeit it may manifest differently according to individual personality types).

But let’s practice positivity here and now: Ok, what can we do about this? What does retraining our brains look like? So I posed this question to ChatGPT and the #1 answer was:

What are the best ways to remedy the negativity bias?

#1 - Practice Gratitude: Cultivating gratitude can help counteract negativity bias. Regularly take time to reflect on the things you're thankful for, no matter how small. This can shift your focus toward positivity.

Click this link to read all of the Top Ten suggested tools to train your brain away from negativity, towards an attitude of gratitude.

The neuroscientists are catching on to what the Creator has known all along about our need to practice positivity and remembering forward to cultivate an attitude of gratitude that we might live full lives with overflowing cups.

To think about...

Do you know yourself to be a half-empty or half-full kind of personality?

What kind of situations can throw you into foreboding?

What 1 practice could you initiate in your daily life, (like keeping a gratitude journal, for example), that might help you in staying focused on gratitude?

(Note: For ideas, click: ChatGPT’s: Remedy Negativity Bias Strategies)

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS:

When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST."

CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!

Blessed to play a part ~

g

It Was a River Rescue to Remember

Ahh...This photo, taken several years ago, looks to be an image of summertime bliss, of serenity, pleasure, relaxation. And it is all of that. My son, Nick, was the photographer and videographer directing the shoot that day in a favorite dry-fly stream here in SW Colorado.

You can't really tell from the photo, but he was stationed far above the water, up a steep hill from where I was fishing, utilizing his abundant variety of cameras and lenses to capture an idyllic day of fishing a high-country stream. I was there to be an example of ‘women who fly-fish’ as part of one of Nick’s client projects for a well-known fly-fishing equipment company.

But once you place this single frame into the set of images that were about to unfold, it tells a very different story. For in the minutes following the capture of this photo, the photographer became the rescuer! And my mind’s video capture of the incident was instantly made indelible in my heart and soul.

I was taking Nick’s direction re: when to cast for the camera’s sake; and when to demonstrate the whole process: site fish, set the hook, bring it to the net, and dish it up gently in my hands for the photographer to capture the reward, before carefully releasing the fish back into its happy place.

I was just getting past the stage fright, and starting to realize how frequently my casts were producing catches, when I spotted two men in fishing garb downstream from me noticing my cast-to-catch ratio. What I didn’t realize was Nick was more aware of what may be happening next than I was.

Before I could read and react, the two fishermen had hustled along the bank and were getting in the stream right beside me – discourteously close, in fact, uncomfortably close. At the same moment I was registering all of this, and feeling overwhelmingly unprepared for such a situation, I heard Nick’s stern voice, getting louder as he was quickly descending the steep hill from which he had been filming.

Although I know my son to be an introvert, there was nothing shy about his dressing down of these fishermen. In no uncertain terms, he called out their breach of fishing etiquette, and uncovered their explicit intention to take advantage of what they thought was a female alone in a fish-rich stretch of water. They were speechless. So was I.

I had to fight back tears as I tried to catch up with what just happened.

What kept circling in my mind was I’ve been rescued! And as time went by that day, into the next; and even into the weeks, months, and years following this incident, my singular thought developed into a beautiful point of healing for me.

You see, growing up I took on a story that had just enough truth to it to fool me into agreeing with it, that I was not worth protecting. So, when I experienced not being protected, it added more weight to that mistaken thinking. I entered adolescence and

went into adulthood not expecting to be rescued or protected.

Even as my relationship with God grew and deepened, I wasn’t able to fully see Him as my Rescuer or Protector. I had no mental image of what that looked like.

Until I watched my son flying down that steep hill to rescue me from the encroaching fishermen, proclaiming my right to this stretch of water, and implicitly, affirming my right to be rescued, my worthiness of being protected.

From that day to today, I readily pull up that sacred image when I need bolstered in my belief in God as my Rescuer and Protector.

A dear friend and spiritual companion calls it remembering forward when you draw up vignettes of God’s previous faithfulness to help you believe He will do it again in the present or future.

I guess God knew I needed a human connection, a flesh-and-blood example to break through my mistaken thinking from childhood. Maybe we all need those imperfect but touchable examples of God’s attributes demonstrated through mere human jars of clay.

I’ve recounted this significant scene in my story to encourage you to cull the video reel of your own for significant scenes. I believe God is always after healing - moving us towards wholeness, redemption, reconciliation. He wants to correct our mistaken thinking about who we are, who He is and who He desires to be in our lives. And many times He uses people to do this work.

From Psalm 91:14-16 – Personalized for you:

Because ____ loves You, Lord, You will rescue her/him.

You will protect ____ for she/he acknowledges Your name.

____ will call on You, and You will answer her/him; You will be with ____ in trouble, You will deliver ____ and honor her/him. With long life You will satisfy her/him and show ____ Your salvation.

To ponder...

Can you identify a wound that became a story you agreed with to the detriment of discovering who you were really created to be?

What might be distorting your view of God, making it difficult for you to see Him in the way you need to right now?

Can you pull up a scene from your story where a person embodied an attribute of God? Might its recollection be helpful in creating a mental image of God in that role in your life?

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! Let me cut through the tech hassles re: POSTING COMMENTS:

When you click to add a comment, you will get a choice of leaving a comment "AS A MEMBER" OR "AS A GUEST."

CLICK THE CHOICE "AS A GUEST" (-even if you are a SUBSCRIBER) & your life will be simpler- ha! And as many have done, feel free to send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together!

Blessed to play a part ~

g