- Oct 1, 2025
- 4 min read
It was the 1990s on a typical weekday, with the usual sounds – me clanking kitchenware as I prepared dinner, and our two kids in their favorite spots for doing homework, bantering to distract themselves from the monotony.
Then came the sound that signaled the end of normal. The groan of the garage door rising mid-afternoon froze the three of us in place. My sensory memory offered nothing comforting to ease my body’s stress response to the familiar yet misplaced sound. I can still feel the tightness in my gut as I relive the somatic assault of the slow, grinding ascent of steel and the tension of that day.
When the husband and father (let’s call him Jim) came through the door, three pairs of eyes were dialed onto his every move, expression, and gesture. Our faces were asking the same question of him: Why are you home at three o’clock on a Wednesday? (Obviously, this was before the work-from-home era – and before minute-by-minute updates via cell phones.)
When Jim began to speak, I failed to hear anything past Well, I quit! My neurobiology took over:
My amygdala, the brain’s emotional alarm system, quickly evaluated the words as threatening and triggered an immediate stress response, which is faster than conscious thought.
My hypothalamus received the signal from the amygdala, initiating the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response.
My hippocampus (the brain’s memory processor) tried to interpret the meaning based on past experiences.
My prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, attempted to assess if there was real danger.
But here is the caveat: Because I was having a strong emotional reaction to what I was hearing, my amygdala overrode the reasoning my pre-frontal cortex was trying to provide,
effectively erasing all rational thought in that moment.
So, as you might imagine, the shock now coursing through my mind and body was quickly transmitted to the children. In fewer than five minutes, we were all reduced to quivers and questions. Our bodies were now fully engaged in this neurobiological cascade of symptoms:
My sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn response) shifted into gear, preparing the body:
Adrenal glands release stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol)
Heart rate increasing, preparing me for action
Breathing quickens to supply more oxygen
Muscles tensing in readiness to move or defend
Digestive functions are slowing down to conserve energy
And so the unregulated distress response became a cognitive-emotional loop: My negative thoughts intensified (We are ruined!...This feels like my childhood,) reinforcing the emotional reaction.
Then add in these factors, which only exacerbated the looping: The threat seemed difficult to size in the moment (Just how long will it take for him to get another job?), and the situation reminded me of the insecurities produced by my father’s employment choices during my childhood and the impact on the family.
This fear loop, if left unregulated, was on track to be on infinite repeat over the ensuing days, weeks, and months...however long it would be to the return of a stable environment. Meanwhile, the distinct but overlapping concepts of fear, worry, stress, and anxiety became a jumbled amalgamation of our mental and emotional states of exhaustion...
To be continued...
What is proving true for me: writing necessitates research, research brings enlightenment, enlightenment invites personal growth. I hope you join me for exploring this topic that affects us all.
In the next several blog posts, I will be sharing more on this concept of fear loops. I recently had an article on this topic published in American Institute of Stress (AIS) e-magazine called Contentment. [Go here if you would like to explore this excellent resource: AIS or Contentment Magazine].
For reflection:
👉Think back to a moment when life surprised you and your body reacted before your brain could catch up.
What did that moment feel like in your body — tightness, racing heart, shallow breath?
👉Journaling Prompt: Write about one time your body sent you into “alert mode” before you had the chance to think. How did it shape the rest of that experience?
Fear can hijack your mind in an instant — but your body is designed to restore calm.
[Next up: Part 2 → Built to Bounce Back — How Your Body Restores Balance]
*My offer of support: If you contact me via ‘chat w/ me’ on Perils & Pearls, I will gift you a thirty-minute coaching session to talk about how you might develop your resilience through the struggle(s) you are currently facing.
*And if you have been stirred to further explore your unique wiring – strengths, passions, challenges - & you would like to experience a strength assessment with a certified life coach, I invite you to contact me.
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Blessed to play a part ~
g
